Mothers’ Day

In Canada and many Western countries, the second Sunday of May is celebrated as Mother’s Day – a day to express gratitude for a mother’s love and hard work, and to strengthen and deepen family bonds. During my Indian military service days, I used to hear that days like Mothers’/Fathers’ Day were created as a strategy by greeting card companies to boost their business.

Two decades ago, after settling in Canada, my son came home from school with a handmade card for his mother. Giving it to her, he said, “I am proud of you for taking care of me!”

At that moment, I remembered — never in my life had I thanked my father or mother for raising me and helping me reach where I am today. I pondered why. We saw our parents’ struggles and efforts as their duty – or simply pretended not to notice. I had never heard or seen anyone expressing thanks to their parents.

Ten years ago, at our mother’s 80th birthday celebration, I said, “Had our mother received proper guidance, opportunities, and higher education during her time, she could have become a Collector!”

My younger brother added, “Not just a Collector – she could have become the Prime Minister of India.”

Our elder brother said, “With her wisdom, leadership, and skill, she nurtured our family – and it is because of her that we, her children, have reached where we are today.”

He added, “More than raising four mischievous sons, her true achievement lies in managing our four wives peacefully and helping raise our children together in unity.”

That day, all four of us sons expressed our love, respect, and gratitude to our mother.

I pray that each of you may also get such an opportunity.

Let us delve into the history of Mothers’ Day.  In 1868, Ann Jarvis formed a committee to establish Mother’s Friendship Day with the aim of reuniting families divided during the American Civil War. In its present form, Mother’s Day was started by her daughter, Anna Jarvis, after Ann Jarvis passed away on May 9, 1905, with the support of Philadelphia merchant John Wanamaker.

Anna Jarvis initially worked to make Mother’s Day a national holiday in the United States and later aimed to make it an international observance. In 1910, the state government of West Virginia officially recognised it, and other states followed suit. On May 8, 1914, the U.S. Congress passed a law declaring the second Sunday of May as Mother’s Day.

नास्ति मातृसमा छाया नास्ति मातृसमा गतिः
नास्ति मातृसमं त्राणं नास्ति मातृसमा प्रपा

There is no shade like a mother, no resort-like a mother,
no security like a mother, no other ever-giving fountain of life.

Appreciating Children

Graduation Ceremony from Middle School (Grade 8) of our daughter Nidhi was a year after we set foot in Canada.  The very first question that came to my mind was – “Is this all necessary?”  We became poorer by a few hundred Dollars in terms of her dress, visit to the beauty parlour and the florist.

Is this all necessary?”  Why do we think so?  On analysis I realised that as children we were never appreciated for anything.  In case you obtained 93% marks the question on everyone’s lips was “Where did the 7% go?”  No one appreciated or complimented me for obtaining 93%.  The story took a different turn in case Susikutty, our neighbour’s daughter scored 94%.  Everyone played the same track “Look at Susikutty!  See how she is focused?  Learn to work hard like her….

On landing in Canada, I realised that one was being appreciated for even little things like holding open the coffee shop’s door.  That was when it dawned on me as to our rationing of compliments, even to our children, let alone subordinates or people unknown.  The belief that was drilled into me was that in case you appreciated someone, his performance would go down, but in case you ‘rebuked’ him, he would try and do better.  What a myth? 

A Captain in the Indian Army who served with me asked me a question “Sir, in case you come back to command our Battalion, what changes would you bring in?” I said, “I will appreciate everyone for all their deeds, how insignificant it may appear to be.”

Grade 8 Graduation Ceremony may be bit more laid back than formal high school ceremonies (commencement,) but the move from junior to senior high school is still a monumental occasion that needs to be celebrated.  Many schools in Canada do not insist on students wearing caps and gowns for middle school graduation but is mandatory for the High School Graduation.  The students must wear dress clothes for the occasion – suits for boys and gowns for girls.

Many of us forget to give graduation gifts to our children.  I did not for our daughter’s Grade 8 Graduation as I was unaware.  Our daughter participated in her High School Musical Drama in a lead role and after the play I found every Canadian parent gifting their children for their outstanding performances – mostly bouquets and chocolates. I felt small as it was past 9 PM and I could not have procured any at that time as the shops had closed.  After the event we went out for a family dinner to celebrate her performance.

After our son’s graduation after middle and high school where he was the valedictorian, I ensured that I did not repeat the mistake.  I was ready with the gifts.

Giving Graduation Gifts to Middle School students is very important.  A card filled with age-appropriate humour, or contain motivational or inspirational graduation sayings, or simply a message of congratulations is the minimum.  You may also gift a small to moderate amount of money, school supplies the student might need for high school, journals or scrapbooks, favorite teen books, a watch or an item of jewelry, a cool backpack, or other carry-all, gift cards for movies, or other fun activities, etc.