Family

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Family Prayer

Morning and evening family prayer has been a ritual followed in our family as far as I can recollect. Our father led the prayer real loud (could be because he was a Headmaster and our grandfather who was also a Headmaster, prayed much louder) and we all followed suit. As a child I never understood the meaning of whatever I said during the prayers and also what was the intention of such an act. I always perceived it as a punishment our father meted out to all his children for our unruly behaviour. I actually realised the value and importance of it only after I joined the Indian Army.  (Please CLICK HERE read my blog on Soldier Gods)

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The family evening prayer used to begin at 9 PM with our mother singing a hymn followed by one of us children reading a passage from the bible. The prayer commenced after that and it used to last about five minutes. At the end of it everyone was expected to observe a minute or two of silent prayer. I never knew what to pray for most times, but I also sat silently. During the lent, we had special prayers and the agony extended by another five more minutes.

With advent of Television beaming out many tear jerking serials, our parents by then retired from teaching, also got addicted to many of them. In Kerala due to power shortage we have half an hour power-cut on weekdays in the evening. The timing of the power-cut used to change every month and now the evening prayer time was dictated by the power-cut, as that was the time our parents could not watch any serial.

The morning prayers were a nightmare for me as our father woke us all up by 5:30 AM and he commenced the prayer with us in chorus. I always felt that the morning prayers were much longer than the evening prayers. After the prayers, we had to brush our teeth and get cracking with the household chores. Our father distributed each one of us a task and later our eldest brother when he turned a teen took over the responsibility. By that time our father went to milk the cows and clean up the cowshed.

My main chore when I came on vacation was to draw water out of the well in the courtyard using the pulley-rope-bucket system. In those days we did not have the pumping facility. This was the toughest chore among all and as I was away most of the year at school, my brothers wanted a relief and I did not mind it. Drawing of water began by 6 AM and ended only by 9 AM as water was needed for drinking, cooking, bathing, washing and also for the animals in the shed. Last requirement of water was for my mother to bathe before setting out to the school and by that time everyone else left home for their schools/ university. This water drawing chore continued till I turned a teen as by that time a pump set was installed with pipes to distribute water to the kitchen, bathrooms and to the cowshed. During our last visit home, I wanted to show our son the pulley-rope-bucket system, but I could not find it anywhere.

Behind our house lived Vasu and Chellamma with their two daughters and son. Vasu was a daily wage earning farm hand and Chellamma made a living out of rearing cows and goats and selling milk to the neighbourhood. One day Shankara Panikkan (Please read my blog on Shankara Panickan by CLICKING HERE) died at about 5 AM. We all went to Panikkan’s home to console the family. By about 7 AM Chellamma came running to  Panikkan’s home saying that she did not wake up early in the morning as George Sir (our father) did not pray that morning as we all were at Panikkan’s home.

That was when we realised that the loud morning prayers at our home also served as a wake-up call for the neighbourhood (It would have surely woken up the God Almighty too.)

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Adaptation

“In the struggle for survival, the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals because they succeed in adapting themselves best to their environment” so said Charles Darwin in his Theory of Evolution.

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Our dog, Maximus Koduvath, turned six this year and I thought he had mellowed down a lot in comparison to his “puppy” days. He plays and runs around in the backyard and luckily does not dig up the lawn. He only digs up area not covered with the grass.

In the backyard of the house we have a kitchen garden where we grow vegetables in summer months. We grow them organically using the compost from the city’s recycling centre as manure. The children help me in collecting the compost and spreading it and are treated with a doughnut and coffee. Thanks to Colonel Balaji, an old classmate, both at Saink School and National Defence Academy, who has taken to farming in his native village in Thamizh Nadu after hanging up his boots, who advised me to spray a mixture of Neem Oil, liquid soap, chilli powder and turmeric powder on to the plants as a pesticide/fungicide. It has really improved the yield of the vegetables and the blooms on all the flowering plants in the front garden.

I had put up a 30 inch high wire mesh to separate the vegetable cultivation from the lawn. Many friends thought that it was to keep away the raccoons, skunks and rabbits (these are the common visitors to all Canadian home gardens). I would tell our friends that we live a stone’s throw away from the City Hall where our Mayor sits (our Mayor is a 93 year old iron lady, Ms Hazel McCallion, who presides over the city with total commitment and enthusiasm) and Ms Hazel has placed the area around the city centre as “out of bounds” for all animals.

Some enquired the reason for such a low fence and my theory, based on the equestrian training at the National Defence Academy, was that any animal, unlike humans, needs a running space to run and jump over any obstacle. Hence Maximus will not be in a position to jump across with the limited space in the lawn. In case he manages to jump across, he will not be able to get out and hence will never try again to jump in. The 30 inch height of the fence facilitated my easy entry and exit into the garden.

This year I decided to apply some bone-meal to all the vegetable plants to facilitate better yield. Maximus got attracted to the smell of the bones and he jumped across the fence and licked off some of the bone-meal after digging down. Now he could not extricate himself out of the fenced area as he did not have running space to execute a jump. He started to bark and I had to lift him over the fence. I shouted at Maximus for uprooting a few plants in his search for the bone-meal and as usual he retreated into his cage in the family room. Yes, my theory was well proved.

This drill of Maximus jumping over the fence and I extricating him out from there continued for three days and every time I got angry with him, he would retreat to his cage.

A few days later I saw Maximus in the vegetable garden and on seeing me, he came up to the fence and lifted his both front legs together over the fence and before they could land on the ground, he managed to lift off the rear legs and crossed over the fence with ease. The Darwin’s theory of evolution dawned on me and I realised that Maximus had adapted to the environment and my theory lay in the dust-bin.

Next year I need to raise the height of the fence and also build a gate there – another self-help project for the year ahead.

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Leadership and Bible

(Based on Chapter 10 of the Gospel According to St John)
During our summer vacations while in school, we used to attend Vacation Bible School for 10 days. Every year the theme was based on one of the parables Jesus spoke. The theme for the summer after my Grade 6 was the ‘Good Shepherd’ parable as described in Chapter 10 of the Gospel According to St John.

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At that young age of eleven, the parable had a great impact and over the years I must have read it umpteen times and every time I read it, I interpreted it differently. The variations in my interpretations were caused by the varied experience one had serving the Army and the difficult situations one faced. I can now confidently say that the interpretations ‘matured’ with each passing day and with the experiences I gained.

The entire interpretations given below are solely personal and have no theological or religious connotations. I have selected verses 1 to 5 and 11 to 14 and have purposely omitted verses 6 to 10. I have clubbed a few verses being interconnected.

Verse 1.   Very truly I tell you, anyone who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber.
Verse 2.   The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep.

The leader got to face the team he leads from the front. He got to face up to each member of the team and must avoid the tendency to ‘sneak in’ from the side or the back. This applies more in case the team is facing an adverse or difficult situation.

The leader got to be confident and this confidence is the resultant of professional knowledge and integrity. Any leader with good intentions will always be accepted and such leaders will always enter from the main door.

Verse 3.  The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.

The team has to understand the voice of the leader and there by the leader’s intentions. The team will understand these only in case the leader is willing to communicate effectively with his team members.

Further, one has to know each member of the team and in case you know them well, you will always call them by their names. That could be the reason why in the armed forces everyone wears a name-tag. Earlier the Indian Railway staff and the State Transport staff used to wear their name-tags. In Canada, anyone who comes in personal contact with the customers is always seen wearing their name-tags. Who does not want to be addressed by their names than the “shoo – shooo” one often uses in the Indian Restaurants and public offices.

Leading from the front is the most important aspect of leadership. No one likes back-seat driving, even if the back-seat driver is the spouse or children.

Verse 4.   When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.

The necessity for the leader to take the entire team together and lead them from the front is the essence of this verse. Here again the importance of the team knowing the leader is stressed.

Verse 5.   But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.”

In case the leader fails to communicate well with his team and make his intentions clear, will become a stranger. The team will never accept a stranger and will never be confident to follow a stranger.

Verse 11.   I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
Verse 12.   The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it.
Verse 13.   The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.

The above three verses apply in literal sense to military leadership, where the call of duty takes one into life and death situations. This also applies to all leaders; the only difference could be that one does not have to lay down one’s life, but at times may have to pay for with his status, money etc.

Any leader who works for self-glorification and physical rewards is the hired hand. The famous saying that ‘in case you work you get more work else you get your pay‘ applies here. Such a person does not ‘own’ the team and is bothered more about his self-interest. They will be the first to sacrifice a team member in case something goes wrong. Often heard these ‘hired hands’ saying “I briefed him in detail about the task, but he goofed it up”. They never realise that their voices were not recognised by the team (sheep) as the briefing must have been ineffective or the leader did not know the ability of each team member (sheep) as to what they can deliver.

The hired hands will vanish from the scene when something goes wrong and will only surface to gobble up all the credit for the effort of the rudderless team to overcome the adverse situation.

Verse 14,   I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me.

You got to know the team (sheep). You got to know every team member in depth. You got to know the strengths and weaknesses of each. A good leader who knows his team will always project the strengths of his team members while covering up their weaknesses.

Once the leader knows the team, the team will know their leader. In order to know the team, the leader got communicate, both formally and informally with the team members. Theses communications opens up the personality of the leader and based on it each team members makes an opinion or impression about the leader.

Everyone has to assume leadership sometime or the other; it may be at work, in your class, at home, during family or social events etc. Wishing all the leaders the grace of God to became a “Good Shepherd”.

18 Comments Posted on by Reji Koduvath Canada, Family, Indian Army

What Do I Do Now?

This is the question everyone asks me when I call-up anyone back home in India. When I say I am enjoying my retired life, the immediate reaction has been “You just cannot sit idle and must be up to something.” Hence I decided to pen down all the activities I indulge in throughout the day.

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Saying good-bye to the army was very difficult, especially since one enjoyed the best of times and it’s the Army which has made you what you are this day. One could not have asked for anything better from God and the system – otherwise from being a primary school teacher’s son, I would not have retired as a Colonel. All what I am today is the result of the education of Sainik School, NDA, IMA and various Military Institutions. In sheer physical terms – from a 22 kg nine year old boy to a 78 kg 42 year old – all credit must belong to the Indian Army. So it was a painful good-bye to the arms.

Looking back, thirteen years since I hung my boots, I have no regrets or complaints. God and the Army Headquarters (MS Branch) was always kind to me that I served 10 years in Delhi (even though I had no interest in Delhi;) five years on various courses and to top it, had only two years of High-Altitude postings. Again nothing to complain.

The army made me a computer aware man despite being a BA. It made me a leader and a man. I never ended up working in the Army – as I enjoyed every part of it. Thanks to God, all my colleagues, my superiors and mainly to the men who really made me feel proud.

The journey out of the uniform had been different to what many of you experienced as I took the evening flight to Canada, the day I handed over command. I jettisoned into a new and unknown world, where my wife and children were waiting.  As promised, my wife had a nice, big home and a car waiting for me and as she was earning a good salary as a pharmacist. I had no pressures at all. My first step was to amalgamate with the Canadian society.

To my dismay, I found that all my perceptions of the Western world were totally misplaced. No racism, no shunning being a brown skin, and a very friendly lot of people who valued human aspects of life. I spent my first six months learning to speak English the way Canadians do and I found all the people whom I spoke to at the malls or coffee-shops or in the bus, very patient and friendly trying to make out what I was trying to communicate. These communications helped a lot and also corrections from our children got me into speaking Canadian-English.

After six months, I landed up with a job as a supervisor at a call-center and I enjoyed that too for a two year period until our children demanded that I be home when they were there.  They did not want to live in an empty home.   That’s it! I quit my job, to be a house husband. My wife who was doing a four-day week took to a five-day week as her 10 hours of extra work made up much more than what I earned in my 40 hour week and expenditure came down as I did not have to drive to work.

Having taken over as the house-husband, I felt I was busier than any time before as I woke up first, made tea for all, cooked breakfast, packed lunch and fresh-fruit-juice and dropped off the children to school and saw-off my wife to work. Then were the chores – washing dishes, laundry, vacuum cleaning the house, walking the dog (a very difficult aspect in Canada- especially in winters), preparing lunch, gardening, grocery and the list goes on. By afternoon, I picked up the children from school; some days in the evening  when they had any after school activities like drama club, environmental club, debating club etc. Then was dropping them off to their extra-curricular activities by 5 PM – for swimming, tennis, golf, music, dance, or voluntary service at the community old-age home. Got everyone back to home by 6 or 7 PM and helped them with their assignments and study and then cooked dinner and we waited for Marina to return to enjoy a family dinner at 9 PM.

Now with both our children moving out of home to stay in Downtown Toronto, pursuing their job and university, my busy schedule came to a near end.  That was when I found time to read more and write more.  I took to photography as a new hobby as I realised I needed quality images for my blogs.  I now get busy only on the weekends when children come home, normally preceded with a text message listing out all the groceries and other stuff they need.

The life has kept me busy and hence I presume in good health too. I never carried any baggage in my life. I never carried a brief-case to office as I did not believe in carrying office to home or vice-versa.  I recall a conversation with an NCO who met me while on vacation last year who said “You are the only Commanding Officer I’ve seen coming to command a unit with four boxes and leaving with only two.“–

“Air-Canada only allows two pieces of baggage,” I replied.

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Fountain Pen

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May be, I am from an old school, wherein the importance of handwriting was stressed as the most essential quality a primary student had to develop.  So we had the writing book, two lined and four lined for Malayalam and English.  I cannot count as to how many times I got castigated by Ms Murphy, our English teacher, for my illegible hand.  In order to develop writing skills in our son, I decided to procure a fountain pen for him.  To my surprise I found none available in the Toronto Area.  Some arts shops carried calligraphy pens, but not the good old fountain pen.  Then I requested my brother to procure half a dozen of them from Kerala and send it with a friend of ours visiting Kerala.

Fountain pens are nowadays used mainly by Urdu and Chinese language writers.  In these languages, calligraphy plays an important role as the strokes and their thickness may alter the meaning of the words.  Then why use a costly fountain pen when 100 pens for $2 deal on disposable ballpoint pens are there in the market and when we are mostly writing in English language?

Many of the people using fountain pens today grew up doing so. Fountain pens used to be on the list of required school supplies. Those writers may simply be accustomed to using fountain pens or enjoy the nostalgic feeling that comes with it. Using a fountain pen may remind people of simpler times, when good handwriting skills were praised, rather than how many words per minute you can type.

A student using a fountain pen may attract comments from his friends like “a grandpa’s times pen”; “why are you using a stone-age tool?” or “Hey, that’s really cool”.  In a sea of laptops, ipads, and tablets, a student using an actual pen, let alone a fountain pen, can be shocking, and on some occasions, very much appreciated.   Our son says that at school he stands out real cool as he is the only one using a fountain pen.

There are also technical advantages of using a fountain pen. The liquid ink flow requires less pressure when writing which reduces cramping and overall discomfort when writing. Fountain pens are great for those with weak wrists or hands, and carpal tunnel. The quality and variety of fountain pens is also very attractive. Fountain pens, if well maintained, can last for decades.

When you write with a pen rather than typing it on a computer, the writings last as there is no “Backspace”  or “Delete” button.  Whatever one wrote remains on paper and can be referred to later, even though one did not like what one wrote at that time.  May be in a different context or situation it may come handy.  Think your creation which you wiped off on a computer screen with the delete button.  At many times, you cannot recover it.

Fountain pens may be more expensive than a pack of ballpoint pens, but they last for a lifetime, making them much more ‘eco-friendly’ than your usual disposable pens. There is also more variety when it comes to fountain pens. They can be tailored to suit the needs of their user. Left-handed options, pen styles, nib sizes, and the vast spectrum of ink colors allow users to customize their pen to fit their unique personal style.  In addition to their unique design, fountain pens offer a larger range of writing styles. Depending on nib, hold, and angle of the pen, writing styles can be altered and changed accordingly.

So why, with all these advantages are people still buying disposable pens? . Fountain pens need careful maintenance in order to prevent leaking and promote long lasting use. Refilling your fountain pen can be messy and tedious.  This task would be a great exercise for children in enhancing their concentration and delicate handling. Taking fountain pens on airplanes can be risky because the air pressure changes at high altitude may cause ink explosions, and unless you like to unintentionally dye your clothes, most people view this as an inconvenience.

Fountain pens will surely improve the handwriting of the person using it, it also make you feel different and your creativity will surely be better than using a ball-point pen or typing out on a computer screen,  Why don’t you try it for once and see the difference.

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Pet Emergency

mxMaintaining a pet in Canada/USA is a serious matter and needs lot of effort and care by the pet owners.  The Municipal laws requires that all dogs and cats owned must be licensed and wearing a tag.  Licensing helps prevent against rabies outbreaks by requiring a certificate of vaccination for all dogs over the age of 4 months.  All the animals must be neutered/spayed prior to licensing in order to ensure population control.  By licensing your dog or cat, Animal Services will make every effort to reunite you with your pet if it gets lost.   There is a normally a limit laid down for the maximum numbers of pets that you can own.

The laws also specify that while on any private or public property, you got to pick up after your pet and the dog must be kept on a leash no more than two metre long and you must be holding onto the leash.   The owner of a dog is liable for a bite on another person or animal.   If your dog is continuously barking or whining and disturbing your neighbours, you can be fined under the Noise Bylaw.

There are many veterinary clinics dotting the city and there is a pet emergency hospital providing services 24 hours.  The Canadian government provides medical cover for all the citizens, but not for your pets and hence every visit to the veterinarian will ease a few hundred dollars.

The veterinary clinics will maintain all health records of the pets and the pharmacy will maintain all the medications dispensed.  To facilitate searching the database for the pet’s record, it is practice to give the pet also a last name, which is your family name.  Hence our dog is named Maximus Koduvath.  In case the pharmacy pulls up records of Koduvaths, the dog’s name will also popup.  Why not? He is also a member of the family.

Once Maximus ingested some poison and had to be taken to the pet emergency hospital.  We called up the hospital and the moment we reached there with Maximus, there were two attendants waiting with a stretcher to roll him in.  They carried out a stomach wash and the entire event made me poorer by $400.

While waiting for Maximus at the hospital, there was an elderly couple also sitting there.  I got into a conversation with them and they told me that their ten year dog had developed some kidney complications and is being operated upon.  I casually asked them about the cost of the procedure and behold – they were expecting anything to the tune of $6000 upwards.

Due to constant pestering by the children for a dog (we got Maximus because of the same), a friend of ours settled the deal with the children for a cat, being less costly and easy to maintain.  It takes much less effort to maintain a cat as unlike a dog, one does not have to take the cat for a walk in the morning and evening (a pretty difficult task during the freezing Canadian winter).  One day a car ran over the cat, and the car driver called the Animal Services and they immediately dispatched a blue-cross ambulance, which picked up the injured cat and moved it to the pet emergency.  The Animal Services called up the owner (based on the information retrieved using the license tag) and informed him about the condition of the animal and the hospital where it was.

The owner rushed to the hospital and he was informed that the cat needed urgent life saving surgery which would cost a minimum of $3000.  The owner thought if it was back home he would have buried the cat by now and would never cost him a penny.  He did not want to part with $3000, that too for a cat.  He wanted a cheaper option and the hospital offered to carryout euthanasia and would cost him $500.  He immediately settled for the second option and made the payment and drove back home.

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Say Thank You

tuDuring my visit to India in 2012, I traveled from Thiruanathapuram to Kollam in Kerala on the State Transport bus.  The ticket was for Rs 9 and I handed over a Rs 10 currency note to the conductor.  I requested the conductor to drop me off at a particular stop and when the bus reached my stop, the conductor stopped the bus and nodded me to get off.  I went to the conductor, and he put his hand into to his bag, may be to return Re 1 which he owed me.  I said “Thank You” for his service of dropping me off at the correct stop.  The conductor gave a flabbergasted look – Is it that he never expected someone to thank him for a such service?

After landing in Canada, one day I asked our son to make me a cup of coffee, which he did immediately.  He brought it to my table, and I took a sip, continuing to read the book I was immersed in.  Our son waited for a few seconds and said “Welcome”.  It really knocked me down.  Then our son said – “What does it cost you to say THANK YOU?”

I learnt this value from the Canadian society, as they always express their gratitude for any little service or help one does for someone else, even if it may not be from the bottom of one’s heart. Canadians are well known for their courteous behaviour.  Modern Canadian children are usually permitted to be relatively outspoken and independent from a young age.  They may speak to adults, even teachers or parents, in the same casual style they use for friends. The same is mostly true for employer-employee relations, and maintaining a friendly workplace where everyone acts as if they are on the same level.

I for one hardly ever thanked anyone during my days working in India; mainly subordinates for any help they rendered.  I hardly appreciated anyone for any work done by them.  We are very poor at appreciating our children and subordinates – may be thinking that it will spoil them.  It does not cost anything; but may make a day for the person who gets appreciated.  Everyone wants to be appreciated.

When our son graduated from Grade 8 (Middle School, they have a graduation ceremony – to instill in the students that they are going to High School next and got to be more serious about it and that the fun time is over.  He was the valedictorian and after he gave his valedictory address all the Canadian parents stood up and gave a standing ovation and all parents from our sub-continent kept slitting.  We even ration appreciation for a small kid.

This ‘rationing’ approach to appreciation for our children, I feel has come from the society back home.  Recently my wife confessed that she realised how incorrect she was in bringing up our daughter when back home; how she used to castigate our daughter for the 8% marks she lost in her test, rather than appreciating her for the 92% she scored.  This may be the result of my wife’s upbringing back home that one must get 100% in all tests, whether the child has interest in that subject or the child is capable of achieving it.

Many children had to hide their interests in non-academic activities like poem writing, story writing, arts, sports etc because the parents never encouraged any distractions from their academic goals.  Any inclination to a non-academic activity was severely condemned and brutally nipped in the bud.  Had the parents and children followed the academic model in North America, we would have surely produced many a great in all fields of life.

The major impediment back home is the way the marks of all tests are announced publicly in the class and to make the situation worse, the teachers tend to pass unwarranted comments along with it.  This is further complicated by the boastful parents who announce to the world as to how their child scored high marks and what the scores of other children were.  In the Canadian schools, test results are never displayed or announced and are kept confidential.

Attending the Parent-Teacher interviews used to be very scary back home as one often heard only complaints about our wards and hardly any words of appreciation.  The Parent-Teacher interviews in Canada, one experienced the opposite.  It was more of a celebration of the hard work and achievement of the child, and it always begun with “Your son is doing really well ...”

The Canadians are stereotyped as being excessively, or even absurdly polite, even if not entirely warranted.  They never miss an opportunity to appreciate or compliment while Canadians deal with one another.  Mrs Lalita George, wife of Late Colonel Raju George, while on her visit to Niagara, was really taken aback when a girl at a ticket counter appreciated the handbag she was carrying.  The girl asked her about the source and when informed that it was from India, she expressed her dream of visiting India after her graduation.

On receiving the progress report of our son, I (may be because of my upbringing back home), enquired from our son as to how others in their class had performed.  He said that it was indecent to ask others in the class what their grades were and in case I had to see the class performance, the mean and median for each subject is given in the report card.  That was when I realised the application of those statistical terms we were taught in school.

Every year for Christmas, I fly to India to spend a few days with my mother.  On arrival in India, the first person one mostly deals with is the immigration authority at the counter.  Almost all the countries I have been, these immigration authorities are mostly pleasant and very courteous.  The interaction with them generally culminates with “Welcome to (their country)”.  Anyone who has ever passed through the Indian Immigration counters will always have the opposite story to narrate.  I often felt that the Ministry of External Affairs has imparted special training to all those who man the immigration counters, to be putting up with such morose faces and least courteous conversation.  The final look they give you while returning the documents almost conveys ‘Why the hell are you back?’

So please think it over and make small efforts at your level – it may make a difference to someone, and it does not cost you anything.

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Koduvath the Meat Basket

A typical Syrian Christian family history will forcefully trace its roots to the to the 31 Brahmin families supposed to have been converted to Christianity by St Thomas, one among Jesus’ 12 disciples or to Pakalomattom, Kali, Kaliyankal, Shankarapuri Namboothiri (Brahmin) families, even though no documentary evidence exists to prove the connection.

After Jesus descended to heaven, all ten disciples moved Westward to spread the message of Christ and establish churches. Only St Thomas was sent Eastward (East must be a punishment posting then also as prevalent in the Indian Army.)  This could be because St Thomas was known as the Doubting Thomas who refused to believe that the resurrected Jesus had appeared to the ten other disciples (Judas had committed suicide by then,) until he could see and feel the wounds received by Jesus on the cross. From this originated the English idiom of Doubting Thomas as a skeptic who refuses to believe without direct personal experience.

In the earlier days, the Syrian Christian  priests could only be ordained from the Pakalomattom family (an effect of the Hindu caste system prevalent then.)   Vasco da Gama landed in Kerala in 1498 and was surprised to find local Christians, involved in spice trade.  In those days the Christians followed most customs of the local Hindus (some of it even continues today) and used Syriac as the liturgical language because of the association with Persia due to the spice trade.  Hence the Portuguese called the local Christians as Syrian Christians and the Christians they converted as Latin Christians as they used Latin as their liturgical language. 

The Portuguese after landing in Kerala realised that the princely priesthood of the Pakalomattom family had to be broken to have a hold on the local Christians and so ordained priests from other rival families. By 1660 they weaned away 84 of the 116 churches who aligned with Rome and became the Syro Malabar Catholic Church and the rest thirty-two churches and their congregations formed the Syrian Orthodox Church.  The purported aim of the Portuguese was to wean away the local traders, mainly Christians, from the Muslim Arab traders.

It would be foolish on my part to do the same mistake others did and hence would limit to the details I had obtained by way of many discussions I had with our grandfather Karottu KT Varkey (he lived to the age of 104 and died in 2002.)  Surely some of these would have been his figment of imagination and he also must have added enough spice to make it interesting for a hyper-active young boy.

In the nineteenth century Koduvath Easo (in those days the family name preceded the christen name) came with his daughter Eli and occupied Malamelkavu (in Malayalam meaning hillock with a temple on top,) in Kolladu village, about eight kilometer from Kottayam and settled there.  Nothing is known about the other family members and from where Koduvath Easo came.  Thomas married Eli and moved into Koduvath family as the Adopted Son (Jamai जमाई) (DathuPuthran ദത്തുപുത്രൻ.)  From then on it is said that the ladies of the family have been more dominating and I can see it in today’s generation in the form of our daughter and her cousin sisters.   Thomas and Eli had nine sons and two daughters with our grandfather being the eleventh.  The nine sons and their further generations continue to live in and around Malamelkavu and some moved out in search of better jobs and opportunities.

The family belongs to the parish of St George Syrian Orthodox Church, Puthuppally (ex-Chief Minister of Kerala, Late Oommen Chandy’s family also belongs to the same church.)  Kolladu village is located West of Puthuppally village and is separated by a river.  Crossing the river up to 70’s was by means of a ferry, now by a bridge.   The annual festival of the church is celebrated in first week of May and is like the annual festivals of the Hindu temples in Kerala.   Vechoottu (a ceremonial feast), adya choroonu (a ritual in which children get their first rice feeding by priests,) etc. are some of the rituals associated with the festival.  Later  Raza, the grand festival procession taken out with the holy golden cross from the church, accompanied by Chenda Melam (drums of Kerala) and caparisoned elephants.  The Raza is received by every household which falls on its route, irrespective of their religion, with a lighted lamp.   In the evening the entire church is illuminated with lamps like any Hindu temples of Kerala.

The main offering to the church on the annual festival is fowl (preferably a rooster) as St George the patron saint of the church was a soldier and is believed to enjoy chicken.  In the earlier days the fowls offered were slaughtered on the church premises and the fried chicken was served as Prasad to the devotees.  This cruel practice was terminated by the 70’s being cruelty to animals.

I had heard a myth about the fowl slaughtering at the church from my grandfather.  In the earlier days, there was a Kali (Hindu Goddess) temple situated atop the hill adjacent to the church.  The fowls were offered there also on the annual festival day of the temple, which coincided with the festival day of the church.  One day both St George and Kali came together in a dream of the village chieftain and they came to a compromise that the fowls are to be slaughtered at the church and meat prepared there (St George enjoyed the meat,) but the blood had to be collected and offered to Kali in the evening (Kali seemed to be interested only in blood) and that way only a few birds had to be sacrificed.

The next day the Holy Mass is offered at the church.  At the end of the festivity, the Chicken Prasad is distributed to the devotees at the East and West gates of the church.  The chicken pieces are carried to the gates in bamboo baskets.  The teenagers from the Koduvath family now come into action and they snatch the chicken baskets and run as a relay race handing over the basket from one to another and swim across the river.  The prasad thus snatched is distributed among the family members.  The taste of the fried chicken will give run for the money to today’s Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC.)This practice continued for some years and all our family members, whether barristers, teachers, government officials of those days were all nicknamed ‘ഇറച്ചിക്കൊട്ട (Irachi Kotta)’ (in Malayalam meaning Meat Basket) and many of us still carry the same nickname, especially while studying in schools and colleges in Kottayam.

Leave a comment Posted on by Reji Koduvath Family, Kerala, Parenting

Set an Example

fmlIn December 2012 our son Nikhil wanted to accompany me on my trip to Kerala as he had two weeks of Christmas vacation.  I asked him the reason behind such a decision and he said that it was to spend a few days with his grandmother, uncles and cousins.  He also wanted to visit all the old temples and churches in Kottayam and what interested him the most was Sree Padmanabha Temple at Trivandrum as he had read a lot about the billions worth of treasure the temple had.

Accordingly and we landed early morning in Trivandrum and checked into the Taj Hotel.  He was really flabbergasted by the services rendered by the darwan (Person guarding the main entrance and receives the guests), the bell boy and the room service, which he had never experienced in all our travel across North America.  After visiting the temple we headed to Kottayam and stayed with my eldest brother, with whom my mother lived.

During every Kerala visit, I make a trip to Kochi to meet my Sainik (Military) School classmates, Veteran Commander Reginald and Mr Roy John (Collector, Customs) and this time too Reginald was gracious enough to arrange an evening at the Naval Institute.  Nikhil was again surprised that once he was about to empty his Coke glass, it was refilled by the waiter, a privilege he had never enjoyed.

On our way back, we came through Chennai as we had planned to spend an evening with Major General Ramachandran, who was our Commanding Officer and at that time serving with the Area Headquarters at Chennai.  On reaching his residence, the sight of the guards, the way the lawn was manicured and the fabulous garden, the way he was looked after by the General and his wife and all the services he received from the staff at the General’s home seem to have touched a nerve or two in the teenager.  When we went to bed, Nikhil asked me as to why did I leave all these luxuries behind and quit the army and whether I missed these.  To this I said that I really miss all these, but had to make a choice between the family and the army and hence I migrated to Canada to join the family.  Had I continued in the army, they would have visited me during their vacations for few weeks and I would have visited them for two or the most three months (including furlough) an year.  I was touched by his reply “That is a real sacrifice for our sake.”

One day at Kottayam, we decided to set off on foot to visit the old temples and churches around my elder brother’s home.  Nikhil was finding it difficult to keep up with me and I asked him whether he was feeling good to walk or should we hire an auto-rickshaw.  He said that he had a heavy breakfast as his grandmother wanted him to put on a few kilos and hence piled up his plate.  He was upset that the granny did not realise that his body structure and metabolism did ensure that he remained thin and it was not that he did not eat enough and he added that granny being a school teacher, who is well read and well travelled should realise it.  “You could have always refused her and could have left the meal half eaten,” I said.  “Your mother is too powerful and I can never say ‘no’ to her.  Look at your eldest brother who is four years elder to you and your elder brother, the city’s public prosecutor, they never said ‘no’ to her and instantly obeyed all what she said.  When she was in Canada with us, you never said ‘no’ to her.  How do you expect a little boy like me stand up to her and ever say a word,” said Nikhil.

Then I realised that this trip was worth more than a thousand times its cost.