Teach your children to do chores at home—and you will gift your future daughter-in-law or son-in-law a partner who can wash dishes, chop vegetables, and clean toilets with ease.

You have likely seen it: a child tearing a shop apart because they were refused a toy; a teenager holding parents hostage for the latest gadget; a young adult threatening dire consequences if they do not get a motorcycle; a child screaming because they could not get a window seat on a plane or bus. These are entitled children. They grow into entitled adults. And somewhere along the way, they never learned to do a single chore – except perhaps rearranging the cushions on the couch.

An entitled child expects food to appear on the table—on demand, restaurant-style. They expect snacks and drinks at their beck and call. Someone else will make their bed, clean up their mess, and follow their schedule – or lack thereof.

Most of us did not enjoy doing chores as children. I certainly did not. But in a Sainik School from age nine, we had no choice. We made our beds, polished our shoes, kept our dorms clean—the list was endless. And we grew up totally unentitled.

When Should Kids Start Doing Chores?

The latest research suggests as early as two years old. Children can begin with age-appropriate tasks—under parental or sibling supervision—such as tidying toys, arranging books, and putting on clothes. They are not born with these skills; guidance and encouragement are essential. This early start ensures they grow up unentitled and do not become entitled adults. No parent wants that.

A Family Is a Public Company

A family is not a private limited company of the parents. It is a public company where parents and children all have equal stakes. With stakes come duties and responsibilities. Parents must do their part—and ensure children do theirs. Making children do chores and participate in family activities is not optional; it is essential. Let your kids feel they are part of the team and must pitch in. Working together builds connection and belonging.

What Chores Teach

Chores teach children to take care of themselves—to clean, cook, and maintain their environment. Simple responsibilities instil self-reliance and accountability. They also give parents a much-needed break.

Children are not born perfectionists. Expect them to whine. Expect tasks to take too long. The results will rarely meet your standards—not yet. But with encouragement and guidance, they will improve. Sometimes, you will end up doing it all over again. Take it as training. Ultimately, isn’t it easier to do it ourselves? But everything begins at home.

Observation Is Not Enough

Children will never learn by mere observation; they must do it themselves. Parents must show the way and explain how. And when they try, thank them—and tell them how their contribution helped the household. This teaches them the importance of helping others.

Don’t Rob Them of Responsibility

Have you ever written a note to a teacher explaining why your child did not complete an assignment—the dog ate it, the hard disk crashed, the laptop died? You have robbed your child of an opportunity to be responsible and advocate for themselves. This is a sure way to set them up for failure. We all want our children to scale greater heights, to become valuable citizens and proud members of society. That requires hard work—from both parent and child. It is not easy.

When We Do Everything, They Learn Nothing

When we do things for our children all the time, we hinder their development. We send the message that we do not believe in their abilities. If you raise an entitled teenager or adult, they will expect their spouse, their roommate, or you to do everything for them.

If your child has not consistently done chores, it is never too late to start—especially if you are open about why you are making the change and what your new expectations are. Experts recommend linking chores to future behaviours: tell a teen they are learning to cook so they can feed themselves in college—or their future partner.

Kids Will Nag, but Stay the Course

Children are never happy when reminded about chores. Parents are not always happy either. But chores should never be used as a tool for discipline. Be flexible; allow children to choose which chores they prefer. Reward their efforts—consistently and with rewards you are comfortable with.

Prepare the Child for the Path

Ultimately, the goal is not to clear the path for the child—but to prepare the child for the path. That is the greatest gift you can give them. And it begins with a simple chore, a little patience, and a lot of love.

(Images are of James Carter Parkinson, our grandson when he was two-year-old)