Manthrakodi

Mangalsutra is considered as the symbol of marriage in India. The word Mangalsutra is derived from Sankrit word ‘Mangal’ which meaning holy and ‘Sutra’ meaning thread. The tradition of tying Mangalsutra is followed among almost all the Indian communities. It is a chain or a thread with a pendant tied by the groom around the bride’s neck on the marriage day. There are a wide variety of Mangalsutra used by various communities, castes and sub castes. Nowadays there are trendy Mangalsutras in the market with expensive stones like diamonds and ruby. The days of a Digital Mangalsutra too appears imminent.

How can you leave the soldier and his spouse behind?

Here is my version of a ***Military Mangasutra!*** *Has any jewellery designer beaten me on this account and has come out with it in the market already?* **Else I hereby reserve the patent!!!**
This design is based on the Identity Discs worn by soldiers around the globe. Please Click Here to read more about it.

In Canada and USA, some military spouses and fiancés wear their partner’s Identity Discs as a symbol of love towards their partner deployed in a far away land. Some Veterans post retirement continue to wear their Discs.

‘Pennu Kettu‘ is the colloquial Malayalam equivalent of wedding, which literally means tying of the bride. The Mangalsutras used in Kerala, the Hindus use ‘Thaali’ and the Christians ‘Minnu’. The Muslims in North Kerala (Malabar), traditionally do not have a Thaali. However, nowadays, on the wedding day, the groom does put a gold chain around the bride’s neck, which some brides preserve like the Thaali. The Muslims brides from South Kerala (Travancore) do wear the Thaali.

In the Nair community, women had a special status as they followed a matriarchal system of inheritance of wealth and property. Many Nair families follow this tradition even today though some have moved on to some form of patriarchal system. The Nair males had no role in succession and had no control over the property and were mere managers of the property.

Until 1930s, a Nair lady could enter into cohabitation (live-in relationship) with men of higher castes or even among Nairs and this co-habitation was called as Sambandam. The male gave a white mundu (dhothi) to the lady. The acceptance of mundu was considered as permission to enter into the lady’s bedroom. This mundu given at the Sambandam came to be known as the Manthrakodi – Manthra meaning blessed and Kodi meaning new. When a lady wanted to terminate a relationship with the man, the mundu could be returned or a thread could be taken out of mundu and broken into two pieces, symbolising end of relationship.

The mother held absolute right over the children and the children never took the name or lineage of their father. Today the practise of Sambandam has been replaced by the institutionalised marriage. Like the Nairs, all other Hindus of Kerala solemnise their wedding by the groom giving the Manthrakodi to the bride. The Thaali is sometimes referred to as Ela-Thaali translated as Leaf-Thaali, because of its peculiar shape like a banyan leaf. It is said that the shape of the Thaali resembles a banyan leaf because a banyan tree itself is a symbol for support, shelter, and care.

Malabar Marriage Act of 1896 was the first legislation to legitimise Sambandham among Nairs. The act did not achieve the desired results. It was followed by Travancore Nair Act of 1912, 1925 and the Cochin Nair Act of 1920 which made Sambandham illegal and broke the matriarchal system of inheritance among Nairs. Mannath Padmanabhan, a social reformist, exhorted Nair males to find jobs, earn income and take responsibility of their wives and children. EMS Namboothiripad, the first elected Communist Chief Minister of India, exhorted all men to take up the role of producer and provider for their families.

Most Namboothiris – the Brahmins of Kerala – have a patriarchal family system, barring a few with matriarchal system. The marriage ceremony is called ‘Veli‘ and is a four day affair. The specialty is that the Thali Kettu (tying of the Thaali) is done by the bride’s father. Out of the eight different marriage styles for Indian Brahmans, the only style which needs the bride’s father to do Thaali Kettu was opted by Namboothiris and is called Kantthasoothram. The common practice among Indian Brahmans is that the groom does the Thaali Kettu and is called Mangalyasoothram. Namboothiris consider Kantthasoothram better as it enables their ladies to perform Bali and Sraadham (rituals conducted post-funeral to enable the spirits to reach heaven) of her parents.

The Thaali Kettu, originally a Namboothiri ritual, was later on adopted by most Hindus, Christians and Muslims. The Christians called it the ‘Minnu‘. Christians of Kerala are believed to have been converted to Christianity by St Thomas, one of the twelve disciples of Christ in the first century. The Minnu is a pendant with a cross, the symbol of Christianity, on a gold medallion shaped like a heart. The heart symbolises the concept of love, and the cross reflects that the relationship between a husband and wife must follow the relationship between Jesus and his bride, the Church. The Minnu is put on seven strands of thread from the Manthrakodi. Seven represents the bride, the groom, the couple’s parents and the Church.

The brother-in-law of the groom prepares the thread the evening before the wedding. The knot to be tied is the Aan-Kettu, meaning the male knot, which in fact is the reef knot. The brother-in-law being experienced with his wedding, acts as a coach to the groom and make the groom practise the knot until achieving perfection. Many grooms tremble while tying the knot as all the eyes and cameras in the church are trained on to the knot being tied. Placing the Manthrakodi upon the bride’s head symbolises the groom accepting the responsibility to protect and cherish his bride. This is a tradition adapted from the Nairs. A woman from the groom’s family, usually the sister or a cousin of the groom, stands behind the bride once the Thaali is tied, signifying the reception into the household of her husband. In some Christian communities, the Minnu remains on the thread for one week until the groom’s mother cuts the thread, and the Minnu is moved onto a chain.

The Muslim wedding in Kerala is an amalgamation of Kerala Nair and Islamic traditions. In India, Islam first came to Kerala through the spice trade with the Arabs who took the spices of Kerala to Europe. It is believed that the first mosque of India, the Cheraman Juma Masjid, was built in 629 (during the life of Prophet Muhammad) in Kerala.

Traditionally, Oppana, a folk dance form specific to the Muslim community of North Kerala, is performed the day before the wedding day. The dance is generally presented by young female relatives of the bride, who sing and dance around the bride clapping their hands. The aim is to entertain the bride who sits in the centre, dressed in all finery, covered with gold ornaments. Today, Oppana in some form or the other is practised amongst Muslims all over Kerala. On the wedding day the Nikkah ceremony is conducted – the official marriage contract – either at the mosque or at the bride’s home. The Nikkah ceremony is mostly all male affair. After the Nikkah ceremony, the Muslims is Southern Kerala have a ceremony for tying the Thaali in the presence of all the relatives and friends.

Marathi Mangalsutra is a combination of black and gold beads in a double layer which symbolises Shiva and Shakti along with a pendant. The black beads chain with diamond pendant is usually used by the Marwaris, Gujaratis etc but it is becoming a widely used trend.

In Telugu communities the Mangalsutra contains coral beads, gold coins etc along with the main pendant and a gold chain.

In Thamizh Brahmans the Thali or Thirumangalyam is a pendent which is worn on a thread dipped in turmeric water.

The Kashmiri Brahmins have a very different way of wearing Mangalsutra called Dejhoor, which goes through the ears.

The tradition of tying Mangalsutra is the symbol of holy matrimony in India. In today’s India people prefer less jewellery and because of this trend people wear Mangalsutra only to family functions, weddings etc. India is famous for its rich and varied traditions and all Indians must be proud of such traditions. It is the duty of the generations to come to preserve such unique customs and traditions.

The Wake-Up Call

“Fire! Fire! Fire!“—our exchange operator screaming at the top of his voice—jolted me from a deep slumber. The regiment was located in the higher reaches of Sikkim. The date was 12 December 1997. The area lay buried under about four feet of frozen solid snow, and the temperature hovered at minus twenty degrees Celsius.

The Evening Before

That evening, I had visited the dentist. A troublesome wisdom tooth had been causing me immense pain. The dentist decided that extraction was the best course of action. He administered local anesthesia on my gums and removed the tooth, advising me to rest for a day or two. I returned to my room, but a splitting headache – likely a reaction to the anesthesia – set in. I decided to sleep it off and hit the bed.

At dusk, our Commanding Officer (CO), Colonel P.K. Ramachandran, wanted to speak with me. He called the Regimental Telephone Exchange to connect the call. The exchange operator tried repeatedly, but I was in too deep a slumber to answer. When he came to my room and saw my condition, he informed the CO. Colonel Ramachandran, a thorough gentleman, instructed the operator to let me sleep and to put the call through the moment I woke up.

The Blaze

At around 9 PM, the exchange operator noticed smoke and flames rising from the building where I was sleeping. He rushed into my room, screaming, and woke me. “Your room is on fire!” he shouted. By then, about five soldiers had also gathered.

I stepped out of the room – now engulfed in flames – wearing only my sandals. Fortunately, my identity card was safe, still tucked in the pocket of my uniform shirt. I had slept off without changing out of my uniform.

The fire had started because the officer in the neighbouring room had forgotten to turn off his kerosene-based room heating system – a bukhari. As I stood outside in the biting cold, I watched the entire building go up in flames. The soldiers, led by the exchange operator, were bravely salvaging whatever they could—my desktop PC, the television, the VCR.

The Harsh Reality

That was when we realised a critical flaw: the regiment’s water tankers were empty. Orders had been to keep them empty to prevent freezing. The solid frozen snow was useless for dousing the fire – it could not be lifted off the ground. An order was immediately passed: from that night onward, all water tankers would be kept three-fourths full to meet such emergencies.

Our CO approached me and asked how I was feeling. I looked at the blazing building and replied, “The only thing I can do is enjoy the warmth the fire is providing on a freezing night.”

The Morning After

The next morning, the soldiers scoured through the ashes. Subedar Balakishan emerged from the debris carrying something intact – a photograph that had survived the raging fire. It was our wedding photograph, dated 16 April 1989.

I looked at it and said, “What God has united, no raging fire, storm, or hail can ever separate.”

Our Wedding: An Orthodox Syrian Christian Ceremony

An Orthodox Syrian Christian wedding follows procedures similar to other Orthodox faiths – Greek, Slavic, and Egyptian.

It begins with the Betrothal service, where the priest blesses the rings of the bride and groom and places them on the ring fingers of their right hands. (In the Bible, the right hand indicates good.) The betrothal dramatises the free decision made by the couple and is symbolised by the giving of rings.

The Marriage Ceremony begins immediately thereafter, culminating in the Crowning. The priest places a crown on the groom’s head while reciting the crown blessing three times, followed by the crowning of the bride. Greek and Slavic Orthodox traditions use crowns made of olive leaves; Syrian Orthodox use a gold chain as a symbolic crown. The crowning signifies victory – just as athletes were crowned in ancient times at their triumphs. Here, the bride and groom are crowned for their growth as mature Christians, prepared for the responsibilities of a Christian marriage.

This is followed by petitions and prayers, with special reference to couples from the Old Testament, such as Abraham and Sarah. An epistle of Saint Paul is read, exhorting husband and wife to unconditional love and mutual support. Then an excerpt from the Gospel of Saint John is read, relating to the wedding at Cana, where Christ performed His first miracle and blessed the institution of marriage.

The Distinctive Traditions of Kerala

The differences between other Orthodox faiths and Kerala’s Syrian Orthodox faith begin here.

The groom ties the Minnu around the bride’s neck – the Minnu Kettu (tying of the knot.) This tradition has been adopted from Hindu customs. The Thali used in a Kerala Hindu marriage is shaped like a leaf of the sacred banyan tree. Christians modified it by superimposing a cross on the leaf and called it the Minnu. The Minnu is suspended on seven threads drawn out of the Manthrakodi – a sari presented to the bride by the groom and his family. The seven strands represent the bride, the groom, the couple’s parents, and the Church.

The groom then places the Manthrakodi over the bride’s head. This symbolises the groom’s pledge to protect, care for, and cherish his wife. The Manthrakodi is an adaptation of the earlier Kerala Hindu Nair tradition of Pudavakoda, where handing over clothes to the bride signified entry into a contracted marriage. At this point, the bride’s relative, who has been standing behind her, yields her place to a female member of the groom’s family as a sign that the bride is welcomed into her new home.

The ceremony ends with a benediction and prayer. The priest uses the Bible to uncouple the hands of the bride and groom – signifying that only God can come between them. It is always the priest who presides over the actual marriage ceremony, tying the Minnu. If a bishop is present, he will only bless the Minnu. This tradition may have emerged from the old Travancore Christian Marriage Acts, wherein only the priest held the magisterial power to conduct a marriage.

Epilogue: Agni Pareeksha

Even though our marriage was not conducted in the presence of the Fire God (Agni), our wedding photograph lived through an Agni Pareeksha – a trial by fire. And emerged not just intact, but radiant. What fire could not consume, time will never diminish.

REJINCES

REJINCES

Reji Koduvath

Thali, Minnu, Mangalsutra and the Military

Fire! Fire! Fire!